What A Fragile Life
by Aloix
Summary: RusAme - please do not read if deaths and or SIDS is a trigger for you.


Life is a complicated and fragile matter. One second you it flourished with liveliness and enjoyment; then the next, it crumbled away between your fingers, slipping through like water and no matter how hard you try, you just can't bring it back. There is no true answer as to why some lives seem to live forever, while others live for just a second to see the light before they vanish.

Life in all forms are delicate subjects. Plants, animals, and even humans can die underneath your seemingly caring hand with no such explanation to come to you as of why such an event came across eyes. Were you doing something wrong? Was it a simple matter, just one simple mistake that altered the life? Perhaps it wasn't even within your hand to judge the life of living or dying and it unfortunately was just the time they had to carry themselves away; leaving you with a hole of despair lodged in your chest for the rest of your life.

It is such a difficult and saddening idea to comprehend.

An innocent baby girl now rested in their arms. The two males had waited for over a year to obtain this great gift. Paper work, inspections, money, and waiting had all lead up to this day when they finally got their child. Now here she was, a mere couple months old, wiggling around in the taller males arms. The two were congratulated on their new daughter before they had left the building to carry her on home.

Sofia was the name she had been given. It held a certain beauty of elegance to the girl. Of course, nonetheless expected, the two newly claimed fathers would treat their daughter nothing less than that of a princess.

A few months had passed with the baby girl in care of Ivan and Alfred. The ever doting parents have already done enough spoiling for years to come, yet they never hinted at stopping. She more than likely had enough clothes for three people. Her room had been decorated by the not disappointing Francis. There were toys galore scattered around the room for her as well. Their entire house looked as though they had utterly bought out an entire babies store.

Alfred was a stay at home parent while Ivan ventured out to his job to keep the support for his family. The American would wander out on walks with Sofia, take her to the park, feed her lunch and complain when she would wave her hand harshly around the tray and fling the food away and only laughed when she heard her father go 'hey!'. She would steal his glasses away and flail them around while Alfred squinted to make sure she wouldn't break them. Once her Russian father got home, she would squeal out in happiness and reach out to him, snuggling in his arms and looked even tinier than she was.

The day was like any other: Ivan at work and Alfred struggling to catch all the food pieces that would find themselves flying over a babies tray. The giggling mastermind simply watched as her young father focused on catching them all before they hit the ground.

"Really? You're a little monster!"

He got another giggle.

"Well, if you're not going to eat anymore, then I guess it's time for a nap, yeah?"

The American smiled, tugging the tray piece out and unstrapping her before he scooped her up and planted tons of tiny kisses on Sofia's chubby cheek, taking her over to her room. He slid her curtains closed to dull out the light and then laid her in the crib, putting a blanket up to her waist, even though she was more likely than kick it off than keep it on. His daughter immediately looked as though she was about to start screaming and reaching for him.

"I know you don't like nap time now, but you will when you're older, I swear!"

He ran his hand over her head softly and smiled. A soft hum started up as he leaned against the crib, continuing to stroke her head. Sofia always seemed to calm down if he hummed a melody before he would leave the room, so that had grown into his routine every time before he would leave to let her nap. Once the song was up, he would go to the door, and before leaving he would say:

"Goodnight, princess."

Alfred would sit on the couch and watch TV or read a book, listening closely to the monitor for when she would wake up. She only slept around an hour or two, so when the monitor stayed silent for a little more than two hours, he grew a bit worried. Though, she just could be tired, sometimes the little monster wouldn't sleep well through nights. However, when it got to be a half an hour more after two, he got up to check on his daughter.

In the room, Sofia still looked fast asleep, and he couldn't help but smile at that. He'd just have to wake her up this time so she would be able to sleep through the night. Going to the crib, he reached in and rubbed his hand over her stomach lightly.

"Sofia…it's time to wake up."

She didn't make a stirring motion nor did her eyelids flutter or her eyebrows furrow. He gave a little light shake to see if she just needed some movement to get her up - he had spoken quietly. Yet, it remained the same and she had not made a move or a sound. Eyes widening in panic, he moved his hand to her chest and laid it there still to feel for the thumping of a beating heart. He slid the side of the crib down and leaned over and placed his ear over her mouth, then a hand, yet felt no ear and heard no sound.

Why wouldn't she open her eyes?

Ivan arrived back home, slamming on the breaks of his car and didn't bother turning it off after parking - jumping out of the car instead.

An ambulance, a fire truck, and a couple cops surrounded their driveway and street. Alfred sat on the front steps of their home, hands clutching his head, and a cop and medic knelt near him apparently speaking to him. Even with how far he was from the small group, Ivan could tell that his love was not listening to the two; Alfred was lost.

No time was wasted in hurrying over to the group, pushing past a couple policemen that tried to stand in his way until he made it to the small group.

"Alfred, what…what happened?"

The American looked up then. His glasses were tear stained, eyes puffed up and red, tears still streaming out, and he looked utterly defeated and as though he had just lost everything. The policeman stayed where he was, continuing his attempt at speaking to his partner while the medic stood and lead him away from the two so they could speak.

Purple eyes stayed on Alfred until the ambulance worker finally started speaking.

"I'm guessing your the boyfriend. It's…not easy to tell you, but your daughter…she has passed. And Alfred is very upset over this matter. A neighbor had to call us because he was panicked."

What?

The stun on Ivan's face must have given his question away.

"It was nothing you two had done. Nothing you two could have known about. It's a very unfortunate matter. From what we could make out when he spoke…he had put her down for a nap and then went to check on her. When he tried to get her up, well, she wouldn't wake up. The neighbor heard him scream and went to check on him. She simply passed from SIDS: Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. We can look for any other diseases, but from what is looks like, that was the cause. There was nothing you two had done wrong. The syndrome…it just hits. There's no warnings, other than the fact that it happens in the sleep, but there is no way to know about it. Since Alfred found her though, he thinks it's his fault that this happened. I know it's going to be very hard for you too, but you have to make sure that he knows that it's not his fault and help him through this. He's in a concerning state and you might need to bring him into the hospital if he does anything drastic."

There had to be a cause! Then again the medic had said there was no specific cause. How though? Why though? The questions will never be answered as to why this happened to their daughter. As much as this tore him apart - Alfred's state of mind was in a more delicate state and he couldn't let the other deal with this type of event all alone.

Once the hype calmed and everyone left, their job now over, the Russian had to carry the American inside, settling on the couch with his love in his lap. It hurt him even more to see the blue eyes that were always bright and happy now dulled out and almost seemingly lifeless themselves. He put his hands on his cheeks, getting the dirty blond man to look at him with dead eyes.

"Alfred, it is not your fault. You did nothing wrong. It's not your fault."

He couldn't tell if that got through to Alfred or not, each day he would have to remind him of it. Dropping his hands from his cheeks, he simply held him to him then, fingers stroking through his hair. Then the Russian started to hum a melody softly. The same one that Alfred had done just earlier that day to their daughter.

Just earlier that day, Ivan had said goodbye to Alfred and Sofia. Alfred had played with the toys with her. Alfred had watched the children shows with her. Alfred had fed her. Alfred had bathed her. Alfred had put her down for a nap. Alfred had found her gone.

The life that was just alive mere hours before was now gone, leaving nothing but an empty space within their house and an emptiness as well within their chests. The life they held so dear had simply crumbled away.

Now the melody haunted Alfred's mind.


End file.
